Friday, December 22, 2017

2017 Motorsports Christmas List

Another Christmas is upon us and even the multi-millionaires in the world of motorsports have things they need each Christmas. Once again, I am here to hand up what many are asking for and what some need but aren't thinking about.

To IndyCar: A television deal that pumps more money into the series and allows the series to have an audience that is attractive to potential sponsors.

Also to IndyCar: 500-mile races at Fontana and Michigan. These are gems. Fans love them and non-fans will turn them on for the thrill but the series has to do more of them.

To Josef Newgarden: The respect of Formula One team principals. Also, a NASCAR ride for at least one of the road course races in either of the top two series.

To Will Power and Simon Pagenaud: A Bathurst 1000 entry to share and if they are really good it could also be used for the Gold Coast 600.

To Scott Dixon: All four wheels staying on the ground in 2018.

To Graham Rahal: A personal jet because he travels a lot.

To Conor Daly and Carlos Muñoz: Full-time IndyCar rides and respect because both should be full-time drivers and shouldn't be on the outside.

To Takuma Sato: A bottle to keep some of consistency from the 2017 season for later.

To the entire Andretti Autosport organization: A solid season from start to finish.

To Juan Pablo Montoya: An Indianapolis 500 entry.

To Hélio Castroneves: A handful of IndyCar races that aren't the Indianapolis 500.

To Zach Veach: A personal gym and a year supply of spinach.

To Robert Wickens: An extra three days of testing at any track he wants with as many tires as he needs.

To Ed Carpenter: A road course driver that can match or slightly exceed his results on ovals.

To Michael Shank Racing: Somebody stepping up and funding a full-time IndyCar effort six years later than it should have happened.

To Juncos Racing: The same as Michael Shank Racing, full-time IndyCar funding.

To Phoenix International Raceway: A competitive IndyCar race that wakes up the fan base after two dull years.

To Iowa Speedway: The crowds it used to know.

To Pocono Raceway: It's IndyCar race ending up on national television because it deserves that kind of attention.

To Firestone: A reliable tire for Texas that doesn't force the series to use competition cautions every 30 laps.

To Formula One fans: Less downforce.

To American Formula One fans: The hope that one day the U.S. television coverage will once match the NBC-era of Formula One coverage.

To Lewis Hamilton: Run-flat tires.

To Sebastian Vettel: A stress ball.

To Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen: Reliability.

To Felipe Massa: The peace of having no one ask him if he is ever going to return to Formula One ever again.

To Pierre Gasly: Being in the right place at the right time.

To Brendon Hartley: A seat waiting for him in IndyCar if this Formula One thing doesn't work out.

To Jolyon Palmer: A successful second act in another series whether it is IndyCar or sports cars, who cares?

To Williams: A competent veterans driver even if he or she hasn't been in Formula One ever or for a while. Sébastien Buemi, Sam Bird, André Lotterer, heck even Jolyon Palmer will do.

To Haas F1: A shoulder to cry on because it won't be fun dropping to the third best Ferrari-powered team out of three in the team's third season.

To Force India: Someone who will enforce team owners, choose a lead driver and prevent two drivers from running into one another.

To Circuit Paul Ricard: Some grass to line the racetrack because it has way too much runoff and it will let someone try something idiotic.

To Interlagos: A shitload of police officers. Armored cars and all.

To the NASCAR Modified Series: More national coverage.

To NASCAR fans: A minimum ride height to get those cars off the racetrack.

To Martin Truex, Jr.: Pork roll. Lots and lots of pork roll.

To Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: The gift of never having to do a press conference ever again.

To Kyle Larson: A shred of hope that Chip Ganassi will actually give him a shot in the Indianapolis 500.

To Matt Kenseth: Peace and quiet.

To Denny Hamlin: A book to keep track of all the races he has ever been in.

To Brad Keselowski: A pacifier.

To fans who wanted a road course in the Chase: An actual road course in the Chase. Road America, Virginia International Raceway, Road Atlanta, Circuit of the Americas, pick one. Hell, go to Sebring if necessary.

To Indianapolis Motor Speedway: At least two top IndyCar drivers, including the Indianapolis 500 winner entered for the Brickyard 400.

To the FIA World Endurance Championship and the ACO: The stone to admit the Daytona Prototype International class is genius and to invite to Le Mans and at least consider it becoming the replacement for LMP1.

To the entire FIA World Endurance Championship grid: Hobbies because they are going to need them for the downtime during the 2018-19 super season.

To Fernando Alonso: The most reliable Toyota TS050 Hybrid for the 24 Hours of Le Mans.

To Sebring International Raceway: Realizing starting a 1,500-mile race after a 12-hour race at midnight on a Sunday morning is absurdly stupid and considers starting it at a more reasonable hour and making it a six-hour race.

To Wayne Taylor: The comfort of knowing there will always be a car between Jordan and Ricky to prevent any contact between the two taking a win from the other and save the family of awkward holiday moments for years to come.

To Robin Frijns and Felix Rosenqvist: People realizing they are better than the Formula One co-driver in their 24 Hours of Daytona entry.

To Portugal: The ability to watching IMSA on television because the country's top drivers are in that series.

To Dane Cameron and Ricky Taylor: A taste of that fourth IndyCar seat at Team Penske.

To Pato O'Ward: A full-time Indy Lights ride and the attention of Mexican companies with money to spend.

To Pro Mazda: A healthy grid size with the new chassis.

To the Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters: A replacement manufacture for Mercedes-Benz and a set of rules that makes the series more interesting.

To the California 8 Hours: More entries and high-profile entries.

To Marc Márquez: The ability to know when enough is enough.

To Valentino Rossi: A ten-day vacation in Southeast Asian between the Thailand and Japan rounds next season.

To Jorge Lorenzo: Contact lenses... so he can read the pit board.

To Andrea Dovizioso: A teammate who can read the pit board.

To P.J. Jacobsen, Jake Gagne and Leon Camier: A competitive Honda in World Superbike.

As always, to MotoGP: A race at Barber Motorsports Park. It is going to be on this list until it happens.

And finally, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Despite the lack of motorsports, this is a wonderful time of the year and I hope everyone has a joyous time with family, friends and loved one. Next week we end 2017 by looking ahead to 2018.

Merry Christmas!