Just over a month ago I matched IndyCar drivers to Halloween candy. Today, despite being a few days late, I am matching IndyCar drivers to Thanksgiving dishes. I just thought it would be a fun way to mix the holiday season with IndyCar during their offseason.
Once again, some pairings make more sense than others. This is just for fun. Don't take it too seriously.
Let's start with the main dish:
Turkey: Dario Franchitti
Normally calling a person a turkey is a negative comment but not in this case. The turkey is what everyone is looking forward to the Wednesday night before. You don't care how long you have to wait for it, you're still going to want it. Franchitti was the same way as a driver and will still be that beloved in retirement. People will want to see him and will wait in line no matter how long for his autograph.
Stuffing: Simon Pagenaud
I love stuffing. If it was the only dish for Thanksgiving dinner, I would have no problems. It is addictive. Pagenaud is the type of driver where if he was your only choose, you'd take him. And that isn't just for IndyCar. He can drive the wheels off a sports car and could probably make other forms of motorsport look easy as well.
Mashed Potatoes: Tony Kanaan
The hearty part of the meal. Like mashed potatoes, Kanaan compliments everything around him. He makes everyone around him better and perform to their maximum potential. He is never disappointing.
Gravy: Justin Wilson
He makes everything better. Just like gravy, Wilson can take something and do it a 180 in the right direction. Doesn't matter what team he is on, he finds a way to get speed out of the car and goes to the front.
Ham: Ryan Hunter-Reay
A substitue to turkey is ham. It is as enjoyable as turkey but when Thanksgiving rolls around it is the second meal. However, there is no passing it up when offered. Hunter-Reay is a great driver. He can get job done anywhere and has proven that with a championship to his name.
Duck: Graham Rahal
Duck is what my father always recommends for Thanksgiving but always gets shot down (mind the pun) and here is why: It is no way any better than turkey. Stop thinking you are going to make the holiday classier with duck. You won't. The same with Rahal. He seems great but is not head-and-shoulders above anyone else.
Turducken: Scott Dixon
I have never had a turducken but it sounds fantastic. It sounds complicated but I don't care. It has it all. Dixon is the same in the sense he has it all. He can race at the front anywhere; oval, road course, street circuit, doesn't matter. He can find the speed to put a car on the pole but can also take a dog of a car and find a way to finish in the top five.
Cranberry Sauce: Simona de Silvestro
I really like cranberry sauce, especially the type out of the can. It is cranberry jello for the most part. There isn't much to it but it is really good. de Silvestro is similar. She hasn't had any flare but is a competent driver who can have good results. She can bring a car home in piece. What else more is there to ask for?
Biscuits: Will Power
Who doesn't like a nice, warm, straight-out-of-the-oven biscuit on the side of their plate? All of a sudden you've have a half dozen and are reaching back to find they are all gone. Will Power racks up wins. One after the other. He has won back-to-back races on five occasions including winning three in a row in 2012. He won three of the final five races in 2013 and don't be surprised if he wins three of the first four in 2014.
Sweet Potatoes: Charlie Kimball
They are really good and healthy for you but aren't your first choose when in line for your meal. You will happily take them but ultimately Thanksgiving is about turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing. Kimball is a driver you'd be alright with on your team but you know what drivers are out their that you would die to have driving for you.
Corn: Mike Conway
Corn is a wonderful side to have but it is only a side. Conway is great on road and street courses but he chooses not to run ovals and that is fine. Pair him with say Ed Carpenter, and a team will be satisfied.
Cornbread: Oriol Servià
In case your family has a little different menu, cornbread is fairly popular alternatives with some families. It has flavor. Oriol Serivà is a character but in a good way. He usually never has a ride but when he does, he is going to the front. If only he was given a better opportunity full-time, maybe he would not be a free agent as often.
Brussel Sprout: Takuma Sato
My mother always makes them but they are rarely touched. Sato is always fast but rarely gets the results.
Cauliflower: EJ Viso
Another vegetable that is made but shelved on Thanksgiving next to the Brussels sprouts. It isn't good enough to fit on the plate with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, biscuit and cranberry sauce. Viso is always there but no one is selecting Viso unless they are dying for a driver (and a paycheck).
On to dessert.
Pumpkin Pie: Josef Newgarden
Always pleasing. You would take the whole pie for yourself. Newgarden is a driver that would please any car owner. Not to forget mentioning how he is fan favorite. All he needs is the metaphorical whipped cream and he is good as gold.
Apple Pie: James Hinchcliffe
Another favorite. Who doesn't love apple pie? It is a sure fire dessert. Hinchcliffe had a very successful 2013 and is popular with everyone who follows IndyCar. He is respected by many and is good enough for any car owner on the grid.
Chocolate Cream Pie: Helio Castroneves
In case pumpkin pie and apple pie isn't good enough for you, a little chocolate cream pie may fancy your sweet tooth. Helio Castroneves is like chocolate, you rarely pass it up but it is always a safe bet.
Pecan Pie: Ed Carpenter
An American classic that is a seasonal dessert. Pecan pie is to Thanksgiving what Ed Carpenter is to ovals. But when they come around, you remember how good they are.
Cannoli: Marco Andretti
Cannoli aren't a traditional Thanksgiving dessert but they are frequently featured on my dessert table. They are fantastic. One isn't enough and two isn't enough either. Only common sense Andretti is paired with an Italian dessert. Would I say he is fantastic? He shows his flashes of brilliance and if he focuses and improves as much as he did last offseason this offseason, he will be a championship contender.
Éclairs: Sébastien Bourdais
Another non-traditional Thanksgiving dessert that are frequently featured on my dessert table. Another satisfying dessert but with the full table of pies can easily be forgotten. Bourdais is the same. He is a talented driver, has four championships but with everything else for the taking, you can forget Bourdais and all he has accomplished rather quickly.
I realize I am late. It is now December but I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Enjoy this and I wish everyone a wonderful start to the holiday season.
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