Thursday, December 23, 2021

2021 Motorsports Christmas List

Christmas is coming up this weekend and we must hand out some presents! Many had better years in 2021 than 2020, but everyone needs something to make their lives a little better. Though life might still be unsettled, this is a chance to find some joy and celebrate what we have. 

There are many people who need something, whether they know it or not, whether they will say they need it or not say a thing. This is our chance to give out items even if they were not asked for. Why wait any longer? 

Let's see what is around the Christmas tree!

To Kyle Larson: People not asking him if he is going to run the Indianapolis 500. Come on, people! The answer is no.

To Jimmie Johnson: Two co-drivers for an IMSA Endurance Cup effort. How about Joey Hand and Juan Pablo Montoya?

To Álex Palou: Just a sliver of notoriety in the United States. He may be from Spain, but Palou is one of the most affectionate drivers in the world and IndyCar should not let his nationality be a deterrent. He has the personality the series needs from a top driver.

To Scott Dixon: A moratorium on people writing the "Is Scott Dixon Done?" articles and columns for at least all of 2022.

To Tony Kanaan: A Ganassi fifth car for all the ovals. Let's give him one final trip to Texas, Iowa and Gateway.

To Marcus Ericsson: A few more rabbit's feet, because he can't count on being any luckier in 2022 than he was in 2021.

To Alexander Rossi: A few IndyCar victories, just to shut people up. 

To Colton Herta: Timely cautions in his favor and sturdy driveshafts.

To Hélio Castroneves: A three-place bump to his road/street course qualifying results. He is going to need it. 

To Simon Pagenaud: No mistakes doing laundry now that he will be with Meyer Shank Racing and have more pink apparel. 

To Sébastien Bourdais: A four-year commitment that Chip Ganassi Racing will take him to Le Mans starting in 2023 with LMDh.

To Romain Grosjean: DHL sponsorship for the next five years.

To Kyle Kirkwood: A guarantee that he will spend at least the next five years in IndyCar and most of those years will to be with A.J. Foyt Racing. 

To Oliver Askew: Respectable Formula E results and a part-time IndyCar seat. 

To Patricio O'Ward: Justifiable promotion in Mexico and to the Hispanic-American population. IndyCar seriously does not understand what a gem O'Ward is and is going to blow growing its fanbase.

To Felix Rosenqivst: His 2019 IndyCar season in a bottle.

To Josef Newgarden: No opening lap spins.

To Will Power: Somehow, he needs fewer mechanical issues again this year! 

To Will Power and Scott McLaughlin: A Bathurst 1000 wild card entry.

To Scott McLaughlin: Better friends taking him to NFL games.

To Rinus VeeKay: More consistent results.

To J.R. Hildebrand: A chance in the IndyCar broadcast booth.

To James Hinchcliffe: A GTD-Pro ride with Pfaff Motorsports. If there is any driver that should drive a plaid Porsche, isn't it Hinchcliffe?

To Jack Harvey: A box of chocolates. He is just a good guy. He deserves some sweets. 

To Graham Rahal: A few days off at home.

To Christian Lundgaard: A stomach strong enough to handle American cuisine, especially if he lives in Indiana.

To Callum Ilott: Formula One teams not forgetting he exists.

To David Malukas: A rookie season that matches some of Dale Coyne's other recent rookies.

To Takuma Sato: A trip to Le Mans with the Acura LMDh program. 

To Charlie Kimball: A car specifically built and trimmed for the Indianapolis 500.

To Mazda: Enough funding to continue in IMSA in 2022 and pursue an LMDh program.

To Corvette: Favorable Balance of Performance in the FIA World Endurance Championship.

To Marc Márquez: Full fitness.

To the other three Honda MotoGP riders: A bike they can handle.

To Valentino Rossi: A GT3 program that includes starts at the 24 Hours of Daytona, Bathurst 12 Hour, 24 Hours of Spa and a European Le Mans Series GTE program to boot.

To KTM: Civility among its four MotoGP riders. Remy Gardner and Raúl Fernández could be a dangerous teammate pairing and not for the right reasons.

To Fabio Quartararo: Better chest protectors. 

To Franco Morbidelli: All his bones remaining in one piece.

To Andrea Dovizioso: A comeback season for the history book.

To the motorcycle community: An Isle of Man TT. We have been waiting.

To Suzuki: Riders staying upright more often. 

To Darryn Binder: Better corner entry judgment. 

To Johann Zarco: His first career MotoGP victory. He deserves it. 

To Aprilia: The best of Maverick Viñales. 

To Jack Miller: No long-lap penalties.

To Francesco Bagnaia: Keeping the tires on the track when it matters most.

To MotoGP: A race at Barber Motorsports Park. This is going to be on this list every year until it happens. 

To Toprak Razgatlioglu: A MotoGP opportunity before too much time passes.

To Jonathan Rea: A MotoGP opportunity now. Who cares how old he is? Let's give him a shot!

To Liam Lawson: Better sportsmanship from his competitors.

To Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters: A return to Brands Hatch and a visit to Anderstrop, two of the races from the original 2020 schedule that didn't happen.

To Oscar Piastri: Alpine dropping some dough to get him a handful of IndyCar races. If Alpine is funding part of Christian Lundgaard's IndyCar program, the least it can do is get Piastri a few real races in 2022.

To Shane van Gisbergen: Safe bike rides.

To Brad Keselowski: Aspirin.

To Kevin Harvick: A victory with some help from teammate, maybe holding up a driver from a certain Chevrolet team. 

To Kyle Busch: Sponsorship that will keep him happy from 2023 onward.

To Denny Hamlin: A psychologist. 

To Bubba Wallace: Social media platforms going extinct. 

To Harrison Burton: No comparisons to his successor. 

To Joey Logano: Less than six months between victories.

To Kurt Busch: More sports car opportunities.

To Erik Jones: A larger bookshelf. 

To Daniel Hemric: A second NASCAR Grand National Series victory.

To Kaz Grala: A full-time NASCAR Grand National Series entry. If Landon Cassill is getting one, why not Grala? 

To Andy Lally: Ideal conditions in his handful of NASCAR starts.

To Gateway Motorsports Park: Its NASCAR Cup race being a night race.  

To Texas Motor Speedway: Starting over. I am serious. Let's bulldoze most of it, if not all of it, and try again. Let's take a year or two off and then come back in 2025 with a better racetrack. 

To Doug Coby: Full-time NASCAR Truck Series season with a few short track races in NASCAR's second division. 

To SRX: An even better second season but remaining true to work in season one. Keep it short, keep it on short tracks and attract a few more contemporary drivers and not as many retired out of race shape drivers.

To IMSA officials: A few new whistles because they swallow their previous ones during the final lap at Petit Le Mans.

To IMSA: A sensical points system.

To Ricky Taylor: Not being blocked at the least opportune time or at least getting the officials to call a block when he has been blocked.

To Jordan Taylor: A proper NASCAR Cup ride on road courses. It is bullshit it hasn't happened already.

To A.J. Allmendinger: Better results in October and November. February through September he has down pat. Just those two months.

To Virginia International Raceway: A return of IMSA's top prototype class.

To Mazda MX-5 Cup: A few races on network television. People would love it! 

To James Davison: A quality ride somewhere. Something that at least matches his talent.

To Formula One: Competent race control and fewer red flags.

Also To Formula One: Realizing sprint qualifying isn't as good as it is being made out to be.

To American Formula One fans: A television partner that brings its own Formula One analysis and does more than simulcast Sky Sports' coverage. It is good to have more voices in the room.

To NASCAR: Realizing it owns a short track, it is called Iowa Speedway, and giving that a Cup race.

To Indianapolis Raceway Park: A NASCAR Grand National Series race. By the way, how the fuck did we allow 11 years to go by between NASCAR national series races at IRP? How stupid are the people in charge that they let such a thing happen? Morons. 

To Dane Cameron: More respect for his talent level.

To Felipe Nasr: A one-off IndyCar race with Team Penske at Road America.

To JDC-Miller Motorsports: More than one good race. 

To Jack Hawksworth: Assigned as the lead driver for Toyota's IndyCar return.

To Bill Aubelen and Robby Foley: Contact that goes in their favor. 

To Tommy Milner: No one ever calling him Tommy Milner, Jr. 

To Chip Ganassi Racing's sports car program: No tire punctures in the 24 Hours of Daytona.

To Kamui Kobayashi: A Super Formula race victory.

To Gabby Chaves: Reminders to the top teams in Daytona Prototype international and IndyCar that he still exists. 

To Spencer Pigot: The same thing Gabby Chaves is getting. 

To FIA World Endurance Championship: Compelling racing in its professional classes.

To Peugeot: Counterpunches that land on Toyota.

To Ferrari: No delays or hiccups in its Hypercar development.

To Gustavo Menezes: Becoming the first American to win the 24 Hours of Le Mans overall since 1996. 

To Glickenhaus: A full-time WEC effort.

To Pipo Derani: A full FIA World Endurance Championship season along with his full IMSA season.

To the Indianapolis 8 Hours: Roger Penske embracing it. Also, America's top GT3 teams embracing it as well. 

To Team WRT: Success in the United States.

To SportsCar 365: A revival of The Double Stint podcast. It was quite a good show, an informative and concise chat about sports car racing each week. 

To Ryan Hunter-Reay: One final full season in IndyCar.

To Ed Carpenter: Committing to two full-time drivers for his IndyCar team while accepting an oval-only or Indianapolis 500-only program for himself.

To Marco Andretti: More races, but if he is happy doing what he is doing, he could re-gift those to someone else.

To Ernie Francis, Jr.: Five-year commitment to open-wheel racing.

To Kaulig Racing; A guarantee that all sponsorship payment checks clear.

To Martin Truex, Jr. and Christopher Bell: Soft landing spots for whenever either is kick out of Joe Gibbs Racing for Ty Gibbs. 

To Ty Gibbs: A year off to see the world, talk to some different people, see some different cultures, learn a few things. 

To John Hunter Nemechek: Someone at Toyota looking out for him. 

To Austin Cindric: A deep playoff run.

To Chase Briscoe: A firm understanding of NASCAR's cutting the course rules on road courses, because he is the only one who seemed not to understand it. 

To Alex Bowman: More top ten finishes.

To Ryan Blaney: A better sense of humor. 

To Tyler Reddick: A move to a bigger and better team.

To Road Atlanta: A NASCAR weekend. We don't need a second weekend at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

To Dover International Speedway: A promise that Speedway Motorsports, Inc. doesn't screw it up. 

To World Rally Championship: A close championship possibly involving multiple drivers named Sébastien.

To Spa-Francorchamps: Ten years without rain on Belgian Grand Prix race day. 

To Max Verstappen: Humility. 

To Lewis Hamilton: A few timely virtual safety cars.

To Fernando Alonso: Esteban Ocon coming to his aid. 

To Daniel Ricciardo: That better second year he has regularly had.

To Yuki Tsunoda: Acceptance that his Formula One career could be over before he is 23 years old.

To Lando Norris: Intuition to stop for wet weather tires a lap before everyone else. 

To Nicholas Latifi: Anonymity. 

To Kimi Räikkönen: Peace and quiet. 

To Pietro Fittipaldi: A full-time ride somewhere! Stop wasting your time as a Formula One reserve driver for a team that will never give you the full race seat! 

To Race of Champions: Kyle Larson blowing off the Clash to race on ice in Sweden and Lewis Hamilton deciding he needs a Swedish holiday as well and competes. 

To Formula E: A compelling championship that does not require a convoluted qualifying format.

To Oliver Turvey: Any ride he wants in the world of motorsports. He cannot be thrilled running at the back for NIO in every race.

Also To Oliver Turvey: Patience with his new teammate.

To Mitch Evans: Perfect launches from every start next season.

To New Zealand: An FIA Grade 1 circuit, but one with legitimate grass runoff, that can host Formula One, WEC, IndyCar and any other major motorsports series. It deserves it. 

To Carlos Sainz, Jr.: Long-term commitment from Ferrari. How is this guy already on the fence? And he beat Charles Leclerc in the championship! 

To George Russell: Some thick skin. 

To Sergio Pérez: His best race coming in Mexico City. 

To Valtteri Bottas: More rallying opportunities.

To Sebastien Vettel: Sufficient fuel levels the next time he finishes on the podium. 

To Mick Schumacher: A few good days that go with his talent. 

To Every Formula One Circuit: Adequate grass runoff on the edge of the circuit. 

To the Bathurst 12 Hour: A healthy grid with drivers from all around the globe. 

To Supercars: Fewer border restrictions.

To Canada: A Canadian Grand Prix. We are missing Montreal. 

To Super Formula: A few more international drivers. 

To Phillip Island: MotoGP and World Superbike weekends. Another track that has been gone for too long due to the pandemic.   

To the inaugural Miami Grand Prix: Suitable support races. North American grand prix weekends have underwhelming support races. We can do so much better.

To the Bahrain Grand Prix: Moving to the perimeter circuit. Mind as well do something different. 

To the Asian Le Mans Series: A return to the Pacific region. 

To Nyck de Vries: A Formula One ride so the world can have a Dutchman to root for.

To Fontana: Remaining a two-mile oval. It sounds like everyone is getting cold feet over the re-configuration. Just leave it how it is then. Plus, I don't think NASCAR know what it wants to do. 

To Alex Zanardi: A full recovery.

Finally, I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year. What an odd year this has been? The quintessential example of two steps forward and one step back. We have come a long way from last Christmas, and yet this Christmas feels like it has circled back to where we were a year ago. This year had many positives. It felt more normal, arguably was close to normal, but we didn't quite get fully back there. It was better than 2020, but that wasn't going to be that hard to accomplish. And yet here we are, uncertain and clueless about what will happen next. 

But there is plenty to be encouraged about and 2022 should be better. Positivity will take us a long way. Most importantly, stay safe, stay healthy and enjoy this time with friends and family.